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The other day I was leaving a local event when I
encountered three young children on the corner of a quiet
neighborhood selling lemonade from their homemade stand. I
smiled to myself. I continued my short journey home and
upon entering my own area, I drove by yet another such
lemonade stand. This time my eyes filled with tears for the
innocence of it. For the next few days my mind kept
steering back to the image of those sweet little kids and
their entrepreneurial zeal. I basked in the vision of them.
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Later that week the real horror of the destruction that
consumed Lahaina on Maui became apparent. Lives
destroyed. I thought of the ongoing devastation to
Ukraine, other horrifying issues which the 24/7 news
cycles blasts our way. It can feel overwhelming; the
power of the bad news headlines insistent upon grabbing
our attention. Oftentimes I even worry about our
country’s ability to sustain our democracy. When I let
those thoughts run away in my head, Ken manages to talk
me down. Anyway, the purity of the lemonade stands
moved me so much that I began telling my friends about
them. Invariably they’d grin and exclaim, “Well there’s
still lemonade stands!” Meaning that in the face of all
the negativity in the world there is still purity. I
believe that!!
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If you too find yourself feeling anxious I think a
trick is to practice getting our “calm” on; managing
our thoughts and being mindful of where we allow our
thoughts to stray. One of my all time heroes is author
David Rock in his book Your Brain at Work. He
writes: “The human brain likes to wander, it is like a
sniffing puppy!”
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Ever since my husband, Ken, received his diagnosis of
advanced heart failure and the changes it brings to
him, he has become proficient at practicing mindfulness
to stop himself from over thinking it. He favors
reciting the Serenity Prayer to himself, especially the
line “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I
cannot change..” He challenges himself to concentrate
his energy on the life paths still open to him.
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Mindfulness is the
practice of being present in the moment, and becoming
aware of where our thoughts have
meandered. It requires that we are
conscious and aware — that we learn to choose our
response instead of simply reacting
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When we feel our thoughts escalating out of control we
can work to contain them by purposefully bringing to
mind something positive; we can exercise; we can
celebrate being alive; and we can focus on what is
right with the world. Years ago, in my Interpersonal
Relationship class I had a very stressed out
middle-aged woman who had endured decades of therapy
regarding her serious “mommy issues.” When my
assignment required the students to write on “What is
Right with Your Life,” she had an epiphany! She
confided to me that she had spent the last thirty years
focusing on what was wrong with her life. At the end of
the semester she whispered to me in private that that
assignment helped her more than all the therapy she
ever had put together! Whew! That was a lot to say to
me, but it speaks to the power of positive thinking and
how important it is to take control of our thoughts.
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I think we humans are brave. Fight or Flee is built
into our brains. We are absolutely wired to action: but
who do we fight? Where do we flee? Really, there’s
often nowhere to flee nor anyone to fight, so many of
us feel plagued by anxiety. It is normal to have some
anxiety. Change and stepping out of our comfort zones
can sometimes elicit some profound discomfort, but it
can also bring growth. Meeting the new situation
head-on can oftentimes dispel that uncomfortable
reaction. It is human to experience all this. Maybe we
can do better by working to control our wayward,
perhaps catastrophic thoughts. We can find realistic
ways to manage and live with our anxiety.
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So tell me, what is right with you? In what ways
are you thriving? How do you get a handle on your
own anxiety? I would love to hear what you are
thinking. In the meantime keep your eyes peeled for
those corner lemonade stands.
My best, donna
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